How to shop for her (NON LINGERIE ATTIRE)

Shopping for women gives men NIGHTMARES! The first thing they do is head for the jewelry department. Now no one is arguing the love of DIAMONDS, but eventually shes going to need clothing. Buying clothes doesn't mean running to Victoria Secrets, visualizing what you look like in this or that and making a purchase. Sadly, it doesn't really dawn on them that they can apply the same principle in outer wear or that  the purchase from Victoria's, is more for them then for you. The greatest tool they have is never used, their- EARS. Women discuss wardrobes constantly. From shoes to boots, handbags to belts and skirts to blouses. And yes belts are very important. If a man pays just the slightest attention, he will hear " Yeah I thought it was nice or I would like to have or did you see so-n-so in that?"  Pay attention to what she wears,as well as her friends and family. While watching a movie, the news or out 'n' about, LISTEN to what she is saying about what blouse was nice, where did she get that suit, or (my favorite) them some badass shoes. When you go out and buy an outfit that she gets complimented on at work, all by your self, dude- trust me, she will be the envy of the office and  you will be the hero and rewarded accordingly. Learn to listen, the rest will follow. If you need further insight, feel free to contact me. I'm here for you Guys, to make your life just a little bit easier.   

A "D" average but who cares, I'm a jock.

During parent -teacher conferences, it often befuddles me on how many parents are no-shows. At a football, basketball or baseball game,(as well as all other extra curricular activities), you will often find fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles and sometimes grandparents. This show of support is great ,however, not one of the aforementioned is present at the parent-teacher conference. Why? A star athlete is a student first. The phrase his/her "Ticket out of here" normally refers to the after-school activity and not his/her studies. Those who do not "Make it" a lot of times find themselves in dead-in jobs, under or unemployed or worse because they do not have education to fall back on. This "all or nothing" attitude is what lead to the troubles that have befallen Mr. Maurice Clarett. To many times these high school stars become scared, angry, anxious and frustrated when things go awry, they don't make it big, and now have to figure out how to support themselves. We all know someone who was predicted to do "This" and be a "Superstar" but wound up selling drugs, strung out on drugs, pulling robberies and even becoming suicidal. As a parent, especially a father, you do not have the right to live out your dreams through your children. You had your chance. It is incumbent upon you to make sure your child/ren be all they can, get all they need to be able to compete in the world for jobs and careers. A blown knee, broken ankle or just maybe not being good enough is how the conversation should start as you explain the importance of education. Then follow up on it. Check homework, talk to the teachers to make sure your child/ren is being challenged and not just skating by in easy classes. If the grades are poor, hold them out of the activities until improvement is shown. Parent -Teacher relationship is pivotal in the success of our childrens education. Don't just know the coaches, know the teachers. Use email, text or just drop in on occasion. Keep the communication lines open. We have to redirect the trend of more to prison and less to college. Sports are great but need to be kept in perspective. Grades first ,play later. 

A Womans Man 101

There are entirely too many single women in the world waiting for a good man to romance and sweep her off her feet. There are entirely too many GREAT WOMEN in relationships with no -good men. What's the deal guys? Are you afraid of a strong, independent and self-sufficient women? Are you watching too much porn or Jersey Shore and can no longer separate fantasy from reality? So she has more education. Accept it or take your self back to school. So she makes more money. Ahh,well,that back to school again hint. Get over that idiotic notion of "A Lady in the street but a freak in the bed. A real lady does'nt run in the streets. And maybe the problem in the bedroom just might be YOU. Most women would gladly exchange diamonds for a man she can trust, believe in and live out her life with. Most women want to be in-love with someone in-love with them. A warm embrace after a hard day of work. A hot bath drawn because you know she would love it. Dinner done because you got home first. Doing the laundry because you gave her the weekend off. Taking her shopping for shoes and actually being attentive and helpful and not a killjoy. And learn how to give a real, authentic back and foot rub. Women are'nt really hard to figure out. If you LISTEN. Pay attention to her moods and proceed accordingly. Stop trying to solve all her problems with an "Well if it was me I would". She needs you to listen, not compare notes. Man up and learn  know how to navigate through the femine product aisle. And stop discussing your personals with anyone other then HER. If there is a problem, go to her,stop asking others for advice. They do not know her like you do, know your situation or how much detail you left out about your own screwups. Its not moms, dads or your sisters and brothers relationship. The more people you keep out, the happier you will be.

And You Are???

What happened to being an individual? You wear your pants like that because who said so? Your rims ,jewelery and 4 kids by 3 women are more important to your reputation then taking care of those kids, showing a woman love and respect and teaching your sons how to be real men and not future inmates. Teaching your daughters not to get hooked up with drug dealing, 10th grade dropouts looking for a warm place to lay in between fights with his other girlfriends. You wont work but you will hustle, sell drugs. If you have no ambition, self respect or respect for others, take a guess at how your kids will turn out. Lead by example. Be a father, not a donor. If you are a husband, be a husband-ALL THE TIME, and not just when your wife is around. Be the MAN she married and the DAD your kids need. Get off your behind and get up to the school and check on your kids progress, meet the teachers. See to it that homework is completed and is correct. Too many kids are walking around thinking rappers, pro athletes and actors are role models.  Babies having babies means more kids will suffer. If you do not make time to see about them in school,teach self respect, be respectful and be more then a statistic, you just may end up making frequent visits to one of two places- State Corrections Institutions or Cemetary Plots. Choice is YOURS.    

Its not okay! You should be ashamed!

No it's not okay for a grown man to be gawking, staring or lusting after highschool girls. Following her in the mall, grocery store or walking down the street. When I bust you doing so, don't smile with the caught  look on your face hoping for approval or acknowledement. I will give you the look of shame, disappointment and disgust.  I will also make her ,her friends and family aware of what I witnessed. I will protect any and every child I can from predators  like you. So beware, as you are watching them, I'm watching you. P.S. Cougars, you are not excluded. You to are on notice.

What do you know?

Do men really forget anniversary dates and birthdays? How is that possible? How is it that you do not know your wifes shoe, blouse and pants sizes, but can rattle off sports stats for the past 20 years without a hitch? How often do you ask her about her day or how she's feeling? Can you remember the last time you bought her flowers just to make her smile? All women want to be treated like a queen and if your not willing to do so, someone else is. If you're not complimenting her, some other guy is and its making her feel special. You're not making her feel special, you're taking her for granted. You get what im saying. Take note, take care and take some advice. What you do not know can cost you everything. Listen, pay attention, be attentive and pro-active. Do it because its the right thing to do. Show her she means everything to you and that you appreciate her sharing a life with you. If you do not just remember, a compliment can turn into a smile, into a conversation, into flirtation, into "I should'nt be doing this". Love ,Respect and Appreciation. Make it relationship priority one.

Breaking the Cycle

He is that way because you were'nt there for him. He thinks of himself as a "Gangsta" because someone other then you taught him how to be a "Man". You chose to break the law, be a deadbeat dad or deny paternity and now you have released Mr. "BAD ATTITUDE" on the rest of us. All those things you hated about your childhood, you have now shared with your son. What kind of man does that? Be a "MAN", break the cycle, teach your son what it takes to be a real "MAN". How to love, respect and care for others. To take care of his responsibilities. Teach him that a "Real Man" never hits a woman or fights unless its self-defense. Talk to him about the importance of higher education and the trappings of gangs, drugs and teen pregnancy. You do not have to be what your father was, and your son doesnt have to growup the way you did.

Sex vs Love Making

I over heard two young men discussing their sexual conquest of the previous weekend and feel it is time for the younger generation to know one thing, "Only those in love can make Love and at No time is having sex better than making love". You see lads, sex is an experience of the flesh, the release of the pressure formed by anticipation, eagerness and excitability. Sex is what animals do to procreate, the by-product of lust and food for the ego or a weapon to control. Sex is brief, often a one-sided satisfaction that even the clumsiest of people can perform, sometimes alone. Now for those who have experienced "Love Making", its the exchanging of emotions, the melding of two heartbeats becoming one and the brief short circuiting of all senses except touch. Love Making defies logic and time no longer exist. Language becomes basic sounds or noises yet understandable. The two involved feel every nerve ending come to life, every body part is super sensitive and pleasure becomes a "Being" with  bodies in stasis, dancing to an unheard melody, rhythmic and in unison. Its all about giving until its so satisfyingly unbearable to take anymore and yet you dont want it to ever stop. Its the gift that God has saved for  those who are truly in love. It is physical love, devotion, respect and trust, the life long commitment or promissory note that forever together you will be. Your very own piece of Heaven right here on Earth. Sex, its what you get, Love Making ,its what you do.

why men cheat

Some believe men cheat because they are uncaring, noncommitting dogs who'll sleep with just about anything without conscience. Well i'm here to give alittle insight. Did you know that most women dating a married man KNOWS he is married? This practice allows men to escape his fears of low self worth and his not measuring up to someone he feels is his "Better". Men are always comparing themself to the "competition" seeing how they measure up against someone who is perceived better looking, more successful or who is rumored to have great sexual prowess. It really isnt you ,its him and the prison he has built in his mind for himself. He fears you have "settled" and you will realize it soon, leaving him heart broken. Men cheat because they are scared to death of their woman cheating on him. leaving him for someone else, so he trys to stay incontrol by staying a step ahead of her. A man cannot bear the idea of his woman in the throws of sex with anyone else. He gets stupid. Yes mans need of constant reassurance, stroking of his ego and acknowledgement that he is the man puts his brain in stimuli overdose and so he seeks dominations and conquests to reaffirm his manliness. Once he admits this to himself, becomes open to his fears and faults and confides in his woman that he is not "Superman" or "perfect" and release his emotions from his self made bonds, he will discontinue to seek ways to feed his pride and male ego. He will learn what unconditional love is, how to truly give it and receive it. Too many are taught how to fight, work, hustle and play sports at a young age, but few are taught its ok to be emotional, to be scared, to express your feelings and be true to them. Its not manly to cry over a girl, to get mushy and lovey dovey. You're expected to be a man, keep everything bottled up until it creates an ulcer. Ladies we can and will do better. You deserve to know your man is only your man, no accidents, oops or lame ass, "Its not what you think it is". You deserve REAL MEN