I've been careful to avoid the Trayvon M trial, post and comments. Regardless to outcome, a young life has been taken. But it highlights an inner cultural problem that plagues our people. We march about equality, only if we agree with it. As a race, yes equality, but sexual orientation, no no no. We want justice, but we promote "No Snitching" when its black on black crime. We have time for happy h...our, sporting events and concerts, but no time for parent/teacher conferences. We call for Imus' and Paula Deans heads on a platter for using the very words and phrases we use every minute of everyday. As a people, we buy more useless junk, (spinning rims, expensive tennis shoes, jewelry and loud car stereos) then any other race, keeping our money OUT of our communities. I'm tired of hearing or reading " Free my n***a whoever." They broke the law, they got locked up. How about supporting these youngsters, be a positive role model, give them direction and discipline so more of the walk across a stage for graduation and not a police lineup? I'm not making light of what happened to Trayvon by any means, but after you read this, count how many people you personally know who has murdered or been murdered via Black on Black. If Zimmerman was black, would most of us know about this? Exactly. God have mercy on all of us.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Most of you have read about the talented youths on the National Championship team of Alabama. Robbing, beating and then using stolen bank cards of fellow students. There are people who are making excuses for these guys and believe their being kicked off the team and out of school is too harsh. REALLY??? First, many full time students WORK. They are paying for their education, housing, food and books. They arent robbing someone, they are working. Second, they broke the law. Athletes are not above the law and should be held accountable like everyone else. So what , their scholarships doesnt give them extra spending money. So what, the university is making millions off their skills and talents. Where does that give them the right to take from someone else? They are talented thugs who got what they deserved. How would you feel if they had robbed and beaten your child???
Monday, February 4, 2013
This " Lady in the street , freak in the bed ideology". Men will not marry or stay married to a freak regardless of her sexual prowess. Why? The male ego doesn't allow for deep committed feelings for anyone he deems a THREAT. Yes, you are a threat to his mind( wondering where you learned that) , his ego ( how many others have you shown this talent) and his pride(who is talking behind his back about your talent). My point, you can always find someone to " Hit it" question is will he "commit" to it. When you are truly in love, it will become more spiritual then physical and all the extra stuff will not be necessary. Next, this explosion of sex addiction. Have you ever heard of anyone being "Love making" addicted? No. Know why? Sex is selfish. Its yours or mine but not ours. It contains no emotions , just feelings. Horny is a feeling just like hunger. And as with hunger , horny craves variety. You may want steak today but its fish or chicken tomorrow. Same for sex. Some want rough, quick, slow or gentle, but will take a fast food quickie just to get by. Nothing like the melding of souls, the two becoming one, in an expression of their mutual love and adoration for each other. Not rushed, not selfish, just sharing and the willingness to give more then receive. The joys of love, the all encompassing cherishing and divine feeling of US, creating magic thats not shared with anyone else. Now thats what's up.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
So many books, columns and articles to help with relationships. Basic info, nothing spectacular. Treat her right, be romantic and listen, listen, listen. What they leave out is not one relationship is like another. There is no one size fits all, magic pill of healing or universal code for ever lasting love. You see, we are individuals and as such what works for him/her will cause uber and utter destruction for someone else. My advice: BE HONEST. Not just to your better half but to yourself as well. What you can live with or without, what irritates you, angers, frustrates etc. Also be open about expectations, desires, fears and future plans. We all have habits, good and bad. We all see things differently. Love is truly the easy part. Its when you are in DISLIKE with each other that life will become challenging. Stuff happens. You wont always agree, things wont always be peachy. Cliff and Claire Huxtable are fictional characters, in real life, they had marital problems too. Its how you handle them, how you react and relate during those troubled times that make or break relationships. Leave your ego and pride out if you do not want them to be what you snuggle up too. You know her, her habits, attitudes, feelings and moods. So sit down, open your mouth and ask, open your ears and listen and then open your heart and comfort. And never, ever, ever use social media to work on or discuss your relationship. Sharks love the smell of blood in the water. All who congratulate you on your union, aren't always sincere. Some want what you have and cant wait for the opportunity to seize it. Mind your business by keeping it your business. Now for those of you who swim in the sea of dishonesty, we will work on that one for a later post. Gods Blessings...
Friday, February 3, 2012
Most women cheat because of negligence, abuse or response to a cheating mate. While men are opportunist in indiscretions, women are usually victims of passion , searching for whats missing in their relationship, or are fed up with repeated disrespects and infidelities by their mates. Women cheat because they are being cheated on, are hurt and left to feel unattractive, wanted and unloved. Most women are'nt looking for a "Pay-Back" fling or a "Make me feel like a women" affair. They truly feel like they are finally desired, wanted and in some cases loved.There are the occasions when a woman is out to get hers-you know -doing what men have been doing. But most often ,its a reaction from pain, anger and disrespect. The devaluation of a relationship, the search for new conquest and feeding of the male ego leads to most destructive acts in marriages. When men finally acknowledge their emotions, fears of being alone, insecurities of penis/success envy of past lovers and lack of self confidence , only then will he be able to be honest with himself, appreciate what he has, take pride in a successful relationship and reject immature impulses that lead to creeping. It doesnt matter if she comes on to him, seduction only works if there is an acceptance of an offer. Contrary to popular beliefs, you can not slip and fall onto/into "A WOMAN". She can not make you an offer you can't refuse. Regardless to who may or may not see you, a man honors his commitment, respects and appreciates what he has and does not jeopardize it for ANYTHING. So the next time you are hit on, paid a complement or made to feel like you're the ish, remember, there's a woman at home ,with whom you have total trust, she loves you even when you dont deserve it and supports you when ever you need it. To her, you are more then a lay, a check or protection. You are worth loving, caring for, being committed to and you can trust her with your life. She's not going to bail when things get tough, she has your back and all she asks is that you be honest with her ,love her and honor your relationship. No one deserves to be made a fool. If you're not man enough for her, move on, give her a chance at happiness. Go play your games elsewhere, okay? Love is not pain. Love her unconditionally, truthfully or not at all.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Why do we argue? Is it because we do not agree? Is it just about wrong and right? How do you defend poor judgement or irresponsibility by arguing? First off, if you know you are wrong, SHUT UP. If you've been busted, caught or what ever, man or woman up and take your medicine. Second, keep to the rules of arguing. Your voices should never become elevated. Men use this (Boisterous) tool to try an intimidate or control the sway of the arguement. Even if he is wrong, he will use this tactic to either persuade or gain forgiveness. Also stay on topic and in control. Arguements can end in property destruction, name calling, the bringing up of old problems and sometimes bodily injury. Never have a heated discussion while intoxicated or in public. Alcohol distorts and corrupts reasoning and embarrassing each other in public will no doubt turn ugly, so save it for home. When you argue, you lose perspective, you stop listening and you can no longer hear another point of view. If its about facts, or information that can be verified, why not just look it up? But if you are correct, do you need the childish "Im right, I told you so?" or if you are wrong can you say "Yeah you were right ,my bad" or "I apologize?" If it involves other people such as the raising of children, you HAVE to compromise. Not your way or his/her way, but together ,both your ways. Don't think because you are the man, its your way or else, or if you make the most money, you're calling all the shots. Do not belittle or disrespect your loved one . You can not take things back once they are said. Control your self. Ask yourself, "Why am I so angry?" Yes we want to be right, but at what cost? I love a good debate, and I use to be prone to loud and unruly arguements. Then one day it hit me. "Is it really that important for such a aggression?" "Can I not express my self and talk like a mature adult?" It does take two to argue. If you find yourself in such a situation, calm yourself, Say "how bout we look it up?" or "Why dont we ask so and so?" But if you are proven right, leave it at that. If you are proven wrong, acknowledge it and let it be. Once you cross the threshold from discussion to arguement, things can get out of hand and cost you more than the "right or wrong" you desparately need.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Shopping for women gives men NIGHTMARES! The first thing they do is head for the jewelry department. Now no one is arguing the love of DIAMONDS, but eventually shes going to need clothing. Buying clothes doesn't mean running to Victoria Secrets, visualizing what you look like in this or that and making a purchase. Sadly, it doesn't really dawn on them that they can apply the same principle in outer wear or that the purchase from Victoria's, is more for them then for you. The greatest tool they have is never used, their- EARS. Women discuss wardrobes constantly. From shoes to boots, handbags to belts and skirts to blouses. And yes belts are very important. If a man pays just the slightest attention, he will hear " Yeah I thought it was nice or I would like to have or did you see so-n-so in that?" Pay attention to what she wears,as well as her friends and family. While watching a movie, the news or out 'n' about, LISTEN to what she is saying about what blouse was nice, where did she get that suit, or (my favorite) them some badass shoes. When you go out and buy an outfit that she gets complimented on at work, all by your self, dude- trust me, she will be the envy of the office and you will be the hero and rewarded accordingly. Learn to listen, the rest will follow. If you need further insight, feel free to contact me. I'm here for you Guys, to make your life just a little bit easier.